Cats

you may think the common house cat is a bit of a pain

they want you feed them and show them affection but really they give nothing back 

until now

the truth is that liking cats is incredibly hip and will earn you mad hip cred

but just liking your cat is not enough you have to REALLY like your cat

this means posting things about cats all the time because liking your cat is no good if its not getting you some hip cred 

example:

bitchez love bitchez who have really strange over the top obsessive love for cats 

The Rules With Hip Music

The Rules With Hip Music are:

1. make sure any music you like or say you like is as obscure as possible.
this means no one or almost no one has heard of it

2. if someone has heard of it just make sure you were the one that heard it first

3. anything on the indie rock - electronic spectrum is fine. just don't get all cocky and think that you can make screamo cool cause you can't. rap is pretty hip too right now.

its generally a good idea to just have a fuckload.
that way you seem like you like music
and are some kind of artist
thats hip.

also if the musicians themselves are super hip it does give you a heads up.

e.g




Crystal Castles and The XX.

But don't think you can get nifty and use these guys. They aren't hip anymore because everyone's heard of them. You should go along and hate that your favourite underground band is now mainstream. Because being a twat is cool.

good evening class

tonight we are going to talk about profile pictures
you may not think your profile picture is very important but if you think that you are wrong
here are a few easy pointers to help you have a hipper profile picture

Step 1. make your self 'hot'
I don't care if you are spending the day at home with your cat (liking cats a lot is hip) you still have to being looking your best for the photo so to all da bitchez owt dere apply your make up

handy tip! red lipstick will make people think that you're cool

Step 2. practice your pout

if you're not pouting then nobody will think you're cool

handy tip! if you say that you're pouting 'ironically' (write that word down kids we'll be using it a lot) you will appeal to a brand new hip group! even you can have two different sets of hip friends!

Step 3. photoboth effects

now put that pout into action! if you have photoboth make sure to use a super hip effect like mirror (see below) because it will make people think you're creative which is very hip

handy tip! doing some sort of gesture with your hand will make people think you're edgy and cool

Step 4. editing your photo

editing a hip photo can be very easy or very difficult but we are going to go for the more simple option because I don't have all night (implying that you have a busy schedule is super hip because people will think you have lots of friends that want to hang out with you) so change the coloring and exposure

hand tip! black and white is cool because people will think you are soooo film noir

Step 5. caption

there are a few ways you can go with this first there is the 'omg so I don't even know why I uploaded this I look so bad today!' which is good if you want to get a few complements 

you could also post song lyrics as your caption but make sure to pick a hip band and don't use lyrics from one of their more 'mainstream' songs

OR you could always take the piss out of less hip people by saying something like 'omq im lyk s0 hawt ryt u no u want m3' saying this will let people know that you are hipper and therefore better than people that type like that

now that your profile picture is hip people will want to be your friend (fact)